extras humanitarian(speech)0001

posted April 14th, 2011, 9:04 am


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December 16th, 2017, 6:54 am

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view Pinali's profile

April 14th, 2011, 9:45 am

Pinali

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Really nice job on this man. Your texts got better with the new font, which helped a lot toward the end :D

Good luck with your future projects

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view eishiya's profile

April 14th, 2011, 10:38 am

eishiya

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Just read through this. Great job! There were a few weak spots in the art, but overall it's been gradually improving.

I really wish you had gotten a proofreader, though. The text is plagued by a lot of misspellings and typos, and there were a few spots with shaky grammar. A fluent speaker would be able to pick these out for you.
Another somewhat distracting thing was the lettering. The font got better, but the text was still smooshed around in the bubbles and was often difficult to read and distracting.

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view Adrian Ravenhart's profile

April 14th, 2011, 10:45 am

Adrian Ravenhart

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pinali,well it was thanks to you!^^ and thanks,i'll do better in the future..^^

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view Adrian Ravenhart's profile

April 14th, 2011, 10:50 am

Adrian Ravenhart

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alright,thanks for showing my mistakes..^^ a proofreader..?yea..wish i had him/her..maybe i'll ask a friend..=w= okay,i'll try to improve the bubles. gotta do more research on manga>o< thanks elisha.

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view eishiya's profile

April 14th, 2011, 11:24 am

eishiya

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Elisha? ;_;

I recommend this tutorial on word balloons: http://comictool.blogspot.com/2009/08/this-week-balloon-shape.html
It seems that currently, your experience has been almost entirely from reading manga, so you're missing out on the importance of lettering/speech bubbles.
If you want to get better, I recommend expanding your influences. Don't just read shounen manga. Read some western things (not just superheroes), more webcomics, and more kinds of manga (seinen, josei, etc).

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view kare_reiko's profile

April 14th, 2011, 3:02 pm

kare_reiko

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It was really nice comic and I loved to read it. I hope it won't be yours last work :).

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view Adrian Ravenhart's profile

April 17th, 2011, 9:31 am

Adrian Ravenhart

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oops..eishiya!my bad..=w="
ok,thanks for the link!!well i do read seinen too.american comics are hard to findhere in my country..=_= (j..josei?!isnt that for adult females..)

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view Adrian Ravenhart's profile

April 17th, 2011, 9:34 am

Adrian Ravenhart

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thanks!i'm currently working on my next one,this one doesn't have action or fantasy.just a slice of life..>w< i'm not used to it but i'll try my best..

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October 5th, 2011, 10:56 am

Adeeba (Guest)

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That was amazing! I've read a lot of comics on smackjeeves, but this one really stands out! The moral of the story is really cool, and well... AGH I JUST REALLY LIKE THIS STORY D:<

P.S The adult version of the baby was mildy good looking ;D

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